Yeah, but at the end of the day, we have all seen the One Direction movie.

No Pants Challenge

It’s time. Really,it is ABOUT TIME I start another challenge. It’s been over 3 months since my amazing roommates and I went on an insane roller coaster of a journey which I will call our “Juice Fast”

Now that I think of how it was described as a “journey” you know like comparable to a push-the-limits, post-college-grad, absolutely awesome Euro-trip type journey when people were convincing us to do it, I’m tempted to smack those people in the face. They were wrong. Entirely. It was nothing like the vacation I took during college with my best gal pals. Yes, I made weird mixed drinks no one else wanted to touch, became far too aware of anything going in and out of my body and found myself making promises that I knew I would never keep such as:

Euro trip:  “I will definitely start reading all of Voltaire’s poetry in French. Obviously. Anything else would be like cheating culture.”

Juice Fast: “I will definitely continue buying exclusively local produce and eating a complete vegan diet. I don’t know how so many people treat their body like a Wendy’s drive through instead of the temple it obviously is.”

We all know those things never panned out despite my attempts. Sometimes lousy, sometimes less lousy.

So yeah, the juice fast turned out differently than it had been described. Instead of an existential experience it was more like people who are really into seeing other people naked joining a nunnery. Like, all people. Men, women, whatever. I love to eat and juice is not eating. I am not saying it wasn’t great, I am just saying there is something solid to solids foods.

SO, I have decided to take on a new challenge. It came to me today. Me and my body, we get places together. We hang out all of the time. But lately our relationship has revolved around figuring out how long we can “not” work out for and instead cake it after work and watch numerous movies which probably feature Sandra Bullock. So I feel a lot like a Walrus. Or any other animal that doesn’t really have a distinct body shape and is really just there. So, it got me to thinking about how we never spend too much time naked.

Really. Generally we spend the majority of our nakedness either choosing new things to put on to end our nakedness or we are cleaning ourselves. But what if we spent a lot more time not constrained or hiding in our clothes?

So, I have decided to start a “No Pants Week”.

Whenever I get home, I take my pants off and whatever coat/sweater/jacket I am rocking and just proceed with my regular life. Unless it is freezing. Then I can wear a sweater. I am not trying to give myself hypothermia. Come on.

Alrighty, time to take my pants off.

In Honer of the Apple Watch Release

WHO could have thought….

I mean truly no one, not a single soul saw it coming. Apple finally released their smartwatch and they are totally knocking everyone out of the park. That is if it is an empty park.

In honor of the Apple watch release I wanted to bring back my still favorite and market dominating Banana Watch by our favorite tech company Banana Corp! Purchase at any grocery store today! Ahead of the Apple game by almost half a year, you really can’t beat the quality Banana Corp. offers. Whenever, wherever, at a price you like.

***as long as bananas are in season somewhere, and if/or gas prices don’t skyrocket***

***Banana corp will not take responsibility for bruising if watch is dropped***

***3 year Warranty***

***If you choose to return or exchange your Banana Watch for whatever reason, it must be unpeeled***

***Warranty will not apply on peeled bananas***

https://amyratintheworld.wordpress.com/2014/04/21/banana-watch/

An Amazing Conversation

“Oh you have a dog? That’s so cool!”

“Yeah.”

“What is it called?”

“Lady.”

“Like after the gender?”

“No”

“As in “…And the Tramp”?”

“No.”

“Like…of the lake?”

“No.”

“Is she particularly nice?”

“No she’s kind of mean.”

 

 

 

“Alright, this conversation is over.”

 

We are all just mermaids…

…Trying to convince everyone we are humans. 

 

Sometimes when I am underwater in the ocean, or in a pool, or in a fountain I snuck into or a bowl of water I just stuck my head in, I pretend I live there and that it must be really difficult to live in the “air” world. What if we hadn’t evolved to live on earth but had stayed fish and evolved into fish-humans. Fumans.

Do you think Beyonce and frozen yogurt would still have as much to say as they do now?

 

Underwater cameras are the best. These are taken in Croatia near Vodice and in the Krka National Park with 7 of my friends. Our roadtrip from Nuremburg to Croatia was an incredible success. 

Who can tell me…

What is really the difference between a capital I and a lowercase l?

Parking in Krka

It was one of those vacations you never wanted to end. Each day brought its new hysterical twist and turn. But how could we go wrong with 8 hotties in Croatia? Maybe part of our 12 hour drive there included returning to our juvenile roots and playing truth or dare. Maybe our first dare included going to the gas station bathroom and wearing all of our underwear outside of our clothes and parading around. But I won’t confirm anything.

It was a roadtrip at its finest, I suppose. It is safe to say I have very beautiful, hilarious friends that I am incredibly grateful for.

These pictures are from the day we spent at Krka National park, basically walking around “oohing” and “aahing” everything from waterfalls to little leaves. We were amazed by anything. It felt like I was Pocahontas and I actually think people enjoyed my rendition of “Just around the Riverbend”, at least I didn’t get kicked out, so you know what’s good.There were people that kept illegally jumping off the waterfalls(which is actually life threatening because the depth of the pool changes every meter or so) so we all just had a couple heart attacks but that’s fine. I don’t even like calmness of the body and mind.

When friends tell me they’re buying a house…

“What?! I am closer to living under a bridge than buying a house.”

There are no words

There is not a single thing about this video that I understand. Truly not a shred.

 

Does anyone care to explain what is going on? WHAT IS HAPPENING

 

 

Amazing Puns

When people are so corny….

 

“Girl, I am always drunk: drunk on life.”

“That statement, made me throw up in my mouth a little bit…because I choked on all that corn.”