Oh Mah Carrot

I cannot believe it is day 10. Dis shit is bananas. Ok, it is really not bananas because bananas give absolutely no juice, saddest thing in the world. I know. Oops that may have been a bit too personal for your liking. I will not apologize, you are grown and just deal with  it.

Tomorrow I get to ingest solids foods into my overly excited body after 10 days(!!!!). WHOO. My roommates and I are so scared. What if I eat one thing and am full until Wednesday? What will I do with my hourly eating schedule of greatness? Or what if I break my digestive intestines? I will have to eat apple sauce my entire life. I like apple sauce, but lets be real: no one really sits around and wants apple sauce.

 

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Day 5

It is day 5! Halfway done! Crazy how fast it is going.

I am feeling really okay. Not hungry at all, and if I am then I drink some juice. Bim bam. Maybe I won’t stop and I will just drink juice my entire life. Just kidding. I already have an extensive list of food I will be eating which includes 4 different burgers from 3 different restaurants. But I do think I will change my approach to the way I eat.

Additionally, doing this detox has made me realize how many activities in the realms of my very dynamic and exuberant life revolve around eating and drinking and eating more and drinking and eating a cookie and drinking a beer and eating everything. Never in my life have I been a true activist of organizing so many recreational activities as now. I have been to a lake for an afternoon outing where we played cards for about an hour. I went bowling, because it sounded like fun. When have I ever done that? Answer: never because I have never been 80 years old, until now. Bowling was actually super fun and I was very good at it and it mainly had to do with the fact that 50% of the people playing were consuming an alcoholic beverage of some sort and my fellow sober sisters weren’t exactly Olympic trained bowlers. Proceeding to my next recreational activity, this I believe the true frosting on the cake that is detox-hobbies: mini golf. Remember when your weird uncle who wears purple a lot and smells kind of like a mixture of bananas and mold asked you if you wanted to play mini golf when you were 7 and you just knew you didn’t and since then you’ve always know no good thing comes from mini golf? Well it turns out it is a very humorous way of passing time. I am terrible but it was very cute to watch the 8 year old behind us make nearly a hole in one every time and experience all 7 of us full grown college educated adults smile with a little bit of hate every time we realized again how much of a boss this kid is. How is this kid such a boss? He was truly the Iron Man of mini golfing. It must be something, maybe he drinks a lot of milk or pediasure.

Well, today I just went into the sunny city for a juice with the fellow drinking gals, less retired-golf-addicted-khaki-wearing-60-yr-old activity and more regular 20 year old hours of the day. 🙂