No Pants Challenge

It’s time. Really,it is ABOUT TIME I start another challenge. It’s been over 3 months since my amazing roommates and I went on an insane roller coaster of a journey which I will call our “Juice Fast”

Now that I think of how it was described as a “journey” you know like comparable to a push-the-limits, post-college-grad, absolutely awesome Euro-trip type journey when people were convincing us to do it, I’m tempted to smack those people in the face. They were wrong. Entirely. It was nothing like the vacation I took during college with my best gal pals. Yes, I made weird mixed drinks no one else wanted to touch, became far too aware of anything going in and out of my body and found myself making promises that I knew I would never keep such as:

Euro trip:  “I will definitely start reading all of Voltaire’s poetry in French. Obviously. Anything else would be like cheating culture.”

Juice Fast: “I will definitely continue buying exclusively local produce and eating a complete vegan diet. I don’t know how so many people treat their body like a Wendy’s drive through instead of the temple it obviously is.”

We all know those things never panned out despite my attempts. Sometimes lousy, sometimes less lousy.

So yeah, the juice fast turned out differently than it had been described. Instead of an existential experience it was more like people who are really into seeing other people naked joining a nunnery. Like, all people. Men, women, whatever. I love to eat and juice is not eating. I am not saying it wasn’t great, I am just saying there is something solid to solids foods.

SO, I have decided to take on a new challenge. It came to me today. Me and my body, we get places together. We hang out all of the time. But lately our relationship has revolved around figuring out how long we can “not” work out for and instead cake it after work and watch numerous movies which probably feature Sandra Bullock. So I feel a lot like a Walrus. Or any other animal that doesn’t really have a distinct body shape and is really just there. So, it got me to thinking about how we never spend too much time naked.

Really. Generally we spend the majority of our nakedness either choosing new things to put on to end our nakedness or we are cleaning ourselves. But what if we spent a lot more time not constrained or hiding in our clothes?

So, I have decided to start a “No Pants Week”.

Whenever I get home, I take my pants off and whatever coat/sweater/jacket I am rocking and just proceed with my regular life. Unless it is freezing. Then I can wear a sweater. I am not trying to give myself hypothermia. Come on.

Alrighty, time to take my pants off.

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Exactly who you are

Exactly who you are

It’s funny how when we fleetingly meet someone, we can imagine the vast options of what that person could actually be like. They could love salsa dancing, they could be kind, they could have a special appreciation for anything yellow. We can imagine a perennial combination of character traits joining up to make this one unknown person.

But then, we meet them. Hours, days, months go by and we see who they really are: they are no longer unknown. We peel away the shell, we uncover someone. Someone we know. Where before we could imagine endless possibilities, we now see just one person. Someone who could never not love asparagus or not cry every time they see a stray animal. Someone who could never be anything other than what they are. We can’t imagine them being different. We don’t expect it. It wouldn’t fit. Not the way this fits.

No one has ever thought you should be different from who you are. Not really. They can’t really imagine it. People have peeled your layers away and uncovered exactly who you are. They can’t imagine you being different.

Why would you?

The First Time

“All of it?” She asked, turning around to look at him.

“Yeah, all of it.” He answered slowly, making sure she picked out the truth in his voice. Making sure she felt the certainty on his breath.

“Are you sure?”

“I am sure”

“All of them?”

“All of them.”

“Even the broken ones?”

“Yes.”

“What if you hurt yourself? They’re not safe. I don’t know what could happen.”

“I’ll be okay.”

“What if I’m not okay?”

“I’ll hold them for you.”

“What if I forget some of them?”

“Give them to me when you find them.”

“What if I lost some?”

“We can look for them, but we don’t have to. Not if you don’t want to.”

“Some of them might be far away. It could be hard to get to them. You know how the years go by and we hoard and we pile and we consume and we collect and-”

“-I know”, he interrupted.

“You know?”

“I know. I know we keep too many things. I know we keep too many things without knowing we’ve stored them away deep in a pitch black corner. That we don’t do it to keep them but just to know they existed. I know you kept things, things I might never see. Maybe I have too. I think we all have that tiny cupboard full of tiny things that are really the big things. The biggest things.”

“If you know that, why do you want them?”

“Because, I never want to be a tiny thing in your tiny cupboard, pretending not to be the big thing. The biggest thing. I never want to be shoved into the pitch black corner. I will take every tiny thing you have and I will adore it. All of them. Even the broken ones. Even the lost ones. Even the hidden ones. I want all of them.”

“Ok.”

It was the first time someone had asked for it all. For everything. Every thought, every hope, every broken dream, every torn belief. Every atom in her being.

So, she gave him everything, hoping he meant every word he had said.