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You’re Tan Italy, We get it

You're Tan Italy, We get it

Italy has had its woes. It has had its ups, it has had its downs. Julius Caesar, the Roman Empire, the Renaissance, Pizza! All major ups if you ask me.

Now I feel like they are going through one of their slightly “downer” phases. Decades of Berlusconi and his completely legitimate political regime have torn down the frameworks of a well functioning country to the likes of a toddler running a trigonometry course(alright that might be a bit dramatic). All despite the ever-present high sales of Gelato, they are suffering from the stagnant development or rather entirely ceased development of their economy.

I travelled to Italy with my sister and got to experience the world according to Italy firsthand. Where I thought there might be worries about nearly non-existent labor force growth and the fall of production in their nation instead only offered one true woe on the minds and in the hearts of all active and law-abiding Italian citizens:

My skin.

If you have ever met me or looked at a piece of printer paper, you will know that I have a skin tone comparable with a freshly painted hospital wall. Might as well be a color palette for “Say Yes to the Dress” or a standard upon which you can determine the freshness of snow. You get the point.

Coming back to my original argument, it seems as though Italy could be contemplating many a grand conflict in their society yet it seemed they had replaced all of this energy supply with relinquishing many variations of warnings that I am quote as “bianco as milk”.
Never in my life have more people prior to me even greeting them let alone learning their name and favorite current Netflix show of choice handed me sunscreen and pled me to use it. 7 days of this and I felt like I was on my third grade field-trip to Yosemite all over again with every parent chaperone smothering me in what can only be described as pure zinc.
One time my sister and I wanted to take a canoe out and were stopped and told we couldn’t go out unless we covered ourselves to protect our skin. AN OLD ITALIAN MAN DICTATED MY SPF AND RECREATIONAL-WATER-ACTIVITY-OUTFIT. I know this isn’t the United States of Amurrica but I still have freedom of sunblock-usage right?

In retrospect it was actually very sweet and attentive of the Italianos. And hey at least I didn’t get a sunburn and technically I boosted their economy by investing in enough sunscreen for a small Albino army. You’re welcome Italy and also thank you for being so caring.

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One thought on “You’re Tan Italy, We get it

  1. Pingback: You're Tan Italy, We get it

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