The Day I found Out I wasn’t Fresh

The Day I found Out I wasn't Fresh

“Hey Amyra”


“Amyra, I need to tell you something”

“What? Is it about the stuffed animal I stole from Helen? Because she totally deserved it. She took my playdough.”

“No, Amyra it’s–”

“–Is it about that smell? I swear have nothing to do with that. I haven’t even smelled it. It is so fresh in here. Like Febreeze or apples.”

“No, but now that you mention–”

“–Is it about that time when I ate the entire jar of Nutella? I’m sorry, I was hungry. i realize Nutella is expensive and I don’t even know why you think it’s unhealthy I mean chocolate comes from cocoa and cocoa comes from trees so I mean how unhealthy can it be? Right? I mean trees are totally important. That’s why I donated to that “Save the Rain Forests Charity” 3 years ago.”

“I don’t remember you donating?”

“Ok, so I only took the pamphlet but at least I read it. Half of it.”

“Hmm, um ok. No I wanted to talk to you about something else. I have to tell–”

“Is it about your bed? About that time I peed in it? I swear I was having a dream I was on the toilet it’s not like I would just do that all the time because I think beds are an adequate and fitting location to alleviate my bladder, I really was dreaming that–”

“Amyra! No! It’s not about the bed urination!”

“Well then what?”

“I just finally had to tell you wearing that hat, doesn’t make you The Fresh Prince of Bel Air. In fact you are as far away from Will Smith as you can get. You’re just a very small caucausian young female. ”

“Well that’s just rude.”

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