Do you remember the way the girls
would call out “love you!”
conveniently leaving out the “I”
as if they didn’t want to commit
to their own declarations.
– David Berman
I think we all still fall into this rabbit hole. It’s scary to connect something as real as love to yourself. There aren’t many other things in this world as raw and meaningful as love, at least things that fully depend on us. Love is entirely created by those experiencing it. If we don’t give in to it, acknowledge it, even admit it to another person, it can go by as if it were non-existent. It can go by as though the sun had never come up, as though the atom had never been split.
And, sometimes, it is easier to go by as non-existent. Why bind something to yourself if it could taint you rather than lift you.
Sometimes instead of acknowledging it, we leave it afloat. Let it drift through space, hoping no one would notice we have turned our backs.
Maybe someday we can tie ourselves to something again, hopefully even love.